Potential jizz bomber Fred 'the Ted' Holden was arrested this morning on Cambridge Heath Road in London, by Bethnal Green tube station.
Holden was suspected of undermining National Breast Appreciation Day by planting jizz bombs wherever bare breasts appear.
Jizz is a naturally occurring substance which can be extremely volatile, particularly in the presence of the female of the species.
Jizz is very unpredictable and can sometimes arrive on the early train, but is just as likely to arrive on the late bus.
Holden is scheduled to appear before Horseferry Road magistrates in the morning.
It is widely rumoured that legal eagle and Spoof legend Queen Mudder will oversee proceedings on a supervisory level.
She told us exclusively:
"If Holden has jizz, I'll coax it out of him. I'm kind of good at that sort of thing."
Holden was said to be "shitting himself" at the prospect of a thorough going over by QM.
More jizz related japery as we get it.
