A.C.L.U. To Represent Suicide Bomber in Lawsuit

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Sunday, 5 July 2009

image for A.C.L.U. To Represent Suicide Bomber in Lawsuit
The explosives were detonated in a safe place with injury to no one.

The American Civil Liberties Union (the ACLU) has filed a lawsuit in behalf of failed suicide bomber Abdul Rahad, a man who attempted to blow himself up during a baseball game at Dodger Stadium. The Los Angelese Police Department (LAPD) arrested Rahad before he could trigger his explosives.

In their announcement of the lawsuit, the ACLU said that Rahad was denied his civil rights on several counts. Group spokesman Bruce Limpwrist said:

"First, he was not given the freedom of expression. We believe that this is a constitutional right, it falls under freedom of speech, that was violated in the case of this man."

"Second, he was not allowed the freedom of religion. This is a right not only for Christians, but should apply to everyone."

"Third, he was not permitted to complete his occupation. He trained for this and was not able to provide money for his family by working at his job."

"While the successful blowing up of his bombs may have killed people, the LAPD was wrong in not allowing this man his civil rights."

LAPD officer Jack Webbster responded by saying "Even though he tried to kill himself and others, it would make them go ballistic if he got the death penalty."

"So if we put this raghead in the middle of an empty stadium, maybe standing on second base, and let him blow his ass to hell, will that make these nutcases happy?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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