New Brown Bounce for Labour

Funny story written by Christopher Hall

Wednesday, 9 September 2009

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The Labour Voters Association today praised the prime minister's initiative to offer incentives to shore up the faltering Labour vote with his proposed New Voter Deal. A statement issued from the Association read.. "Even with the extraordinary run of recent misguided judgments from Gorden Brown, and given his exceptionally low popularity, this scheme must surely be a winner for our party and for Brown."

Polls revealed significant approval for the scheme among Labour voters. Mr Mike Baloney from Wolverhampton said he would now be voting Labour, not just to collect his vouchers for discounts on home fuel bills and an employment guarantee, but because he believed Labour now stood a real chance of winning the next general election. He summed up... "with incentives like these, Labour offers real support for Labour voters".

Tinsley Slumpwell, a Tory from Thorpe Bay in Essex, was scathing and adamant that Brown's New Voter Deal was an affront to democracy, since it blatantly offered benefits in return for exclusively Labour votes; a point that was put to Margaret Bucket. However, Bucket, in a press meeting on behalf of the cabinet, was unmoved. "Any objection to the scheme could have been raised during the trial run period in early May this year, and I can confirm that no objections were received", she said, "... and it is right for the government to maintain ultimate legitimacy through a scheme that clearly strengthens democratic participation at the ballot box."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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