Written by smurfette

Wednesday, 26 August 2009

image for Large, Angry British Women on the Attack
large women discussing discriminatory statements by RSPCH

London, England, UK Britain's Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Humans (RSPCH) has issued a warning about the dangers of provoking groups of large, angry women after at least four people were trampled to death in the past two months by the normally docile females.

Large women can become aggressive and charge, especially when their children are present and encounter men who are accompanied by young, scantily clad, attractive women, said the RSPCH.

The RSPCH advises that men walk separately from their female companions when passing through a group of large women.

"The large women are interested in harassing the attractive female, not the man," said I. M. Attwatt, RSPCH spokesman.

"As the large women try to get at the pretty girl, there's a high chance they will harm the male, too."

Britain has 7.5 million large women but in the past eight years there have only been 18 deaths involving them.

The recent attacks by large women began on the Hugh Jazz Hills on June 21, when Holly O'Tass, a recent Miss Universe contestant, was crushed against a wall and then trampled underfoot while out walking with her two handsome sponsors.

On July 15, another attack took place in Obeeshire, when Q. T. Pi, a 25-year runway model, was trampled to death on a location shoot by a mob of large, angry women as her photographer helplessly watched.

Three days later, Barb E. Dahl, a 23-year-old actress, was walking with her agent near Lardtast when a crowd of obese women attacked her and trampled her to death.

The final fatal attack claimed the life of Hal P. Mei, a 55-year-old farmer from Bigghurle in the West Country. He was trampled to death by his grossly overweight wife (who reportedly suffered from an inherited glandular condition) and five huge daughters; the females may have become overly excited upon hearing music from a passing ice cream truck.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Cows

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