The 'Godfather of all atheists' and world authority on non-gods, Dicky Dorkface has created a case against any religious observance of Holy days.
He hired a Barrister to bring a discrimination case against Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus and Buddhists and quoted their observances of their holy days, such as Christmas, Easter, Passover, Ramadan, etc. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.
The case was brought before a judge at The Old Bailey where In Seine News was permitted to report on proceedings.
After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, "Case dismissed!"
The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honour, how can you possibly dismiss this case? All religions are permitted to celebrate days that are special to them - even Pagans celebrate Summer and Winter solstice. Furthermore, witches (black or white) can celebrate Halloween. My client feels that it is unfair that he and all other atheists have no such holidays."
The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant."
The lawyer said, "Your Honour, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."
The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day, furthermore, Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that, if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned."
