Great Train Robber, Ronnie Biggs, formally released from prison early today after being granted freedom on compassionate grounds, is back in custody once more after attempting another Great Train Robbery on his way home.
Biggs, 79, is severely ill with pneumonia, and is unlikely to recover. He is unable to walk, read, write or speak and cannot eat or drink, but a good criminal doesn't get sloppy overnight, and on his release from the Norfolk Hospital where he had been held, he made straight for Norwich railway station.
Aided by his son, Michael, he clambered aboard a train bound for London, and waited until the train was in a tunnel near Peterborough before storming the restaurant car and demanding a cup of tea without offering payment.
The restaurant assistant, Albert Konk, 42, pulled the emergency cord, and the train came to a halt. The local constabulary were called, and when they arrived, slung Biggs in the back of an unmarked white van, wherein they kicked ten barrels of shit out of the old man.
The ex-lag had failed to repeat the success he and the other Great Train Robbers achieved in 1963, and he was taken back to the hospital just in time for him to enjoy some jellied eels which he sucked through a straw.
