Researchers in the United Kingdom released the results of a ten-year study of fellatio related deaths in the US, UK, the former Soviet Union, Germany, Spain and France. The study found there were at least 2.5 million fellatio related deaths reported in the six nations studied, but more than 4.95 million more deaths that were not reported, due to the victim's families refusing to report the deaths. "They are really ashamed and would rather the deaths be stated as suicides," claimed Peter D. Beter, a 1968 candidate for governor of West Virginia.
"It isn't that fellatio is, of itself, dangerous," said Beter. "The real problem is that the term 'blow job' is misunderstood by many first time practitioners (mostly women)." TheSpoof.com's medical reporter, Skoob1999, asked Beter for clarification. "What about 'blow me' are these chicks getting wrong," he asked.
"That is precisely the problem! Women should suck penises, not blow into them," Beter explained. He brought out an inflatable doll with an eight-inch penis and had his lab assistant, Ally Chamone, fellate it. Within nine minutes, the doll's head exploded and his very capable assistant had an orgasm.
"You see," said Beter, "What family wants the world to know that their loved one died because of a blow job?"
The stunned on-lookers agreed, but were quick to get Ms. Chamone's telephone number before they left the demonstration.
