Blair's Babes say ‘Baby please don't go'

Funny story written by Harry Porter

Monday, 12 July 2004

image for Blair's Babes say ‘Baby please don't go'
Blair's Babes outside Downing Street

Tony Blair's fanatical female following within the Labour Party is begging him to stay on as leader.

The so-called ‘Blair's Babes', headed by Margaret Hodge (Barking) and Hazel Blears (Stark-Staring), gathered outside Downing Street this morning in a colourful display of patriotic support.

Only ‘Grumpy' Glenda Jackson was missing from the razzamatazz.

The mood within the ranks was one of fiery determination that the beleaguered Blair should be protected by the Party faithful as each and every one of them was indebted to him.

"Without Tony, we wouldn't have the strong female representation within Labour's ranks that we do," said one. "In fact, without Tony, we wouldn't have a job.

"He has changed the face of British politics and more women than ever are penetrating the now-perfumed portals of Parliament."

Meanwhile, Glenda Jackson appears to have been ostracised by her colleagues for underplaying the role of women and concentrating on such ‘trivia' as the war in Iraq.

Her calls for Blair to resign have sparked accusations that because of her thespian triumphs she doesn't need the profile, pay or pension that goes with being an MP.

"All we hear about is Iraq, Iraq, Iraq," said one disgruntled female Member. "If it's not Iraq this or Iraq that, then it is Iraq something else.

"I mean, let's move on.

"Tony's critics are saying he's the first PM to go to go to war purely on intelligence reports, the first to put a political spin on the reasons for going to war, and the first to actually invent reasons for going to war.

"That's three firsts - that's not a cause for criticism, that's a cause for celebration in our books."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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