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Funny satire stories about Metropolitan Police

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Police Crackdown on Scooter Crime Angers Mums

Funny story: Police Crackdown on Scooter Crime Angers Mums

"Leave him alone, he's just a kid" screamed Clarissa de Pfeiffel-Johnson as her ten year old son Boris (no relation) was led into a police van in handcuffs. His crime was to be caught using a stolen scooter to carry out muggings on unsuspecting Londo...

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Now illegal to feed minimum-wage workers in San Francisco

Funny story: Now illegal to feed minimum-wage workers in San Francisco

San Francisco, California - Following the arrest of a score of tourists in San Francisco this past week, the city police department has issued a public service announcement reminding the public that it is illegal to feed minimum-wage workers on the...

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Old Lady Arrested Outside Bank

Funny story: Old Lady Arrested Outside Bank

An elderly woman was arrested in Kensington Hight Street London, England yesterday for malicious vandalism and wanton destruction of private property. Mrs. Edith Entwhistle explained to police who arrested her: "This is MY bank. Every letter I...

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Health officials warn "Toblerone in a fridge" is a lethal weapon

Funny story: Health officials warn "Toblerone in a fridge" is a lethal weapon

Top health officials have issued a warning to people not to put Toblerones in a fridge. They state that when the triangular chocolate bar becomes cold and hard it can become a "lethal weapon capable of damaging members of the public and even buildin...

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Two Arrested After Jousting Match with Frozen Cigarette Smoke

Funny story: Two Arrested After Jousting Match with Frozen Cigarette Smoke

Two people are facing charges following a fight that broke out Thursday evening at a Maryland metro station bus stop. Maryland State Police said the fight started around 5:15 p.m. between the Suitland metro station and the Come & Get It Liquor...

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Blindness Could Lead To Not Being Able To See Things

Funny story: Blindness Could Lead To Not Being Able To See Things

Although yet to be confirmed by independent scientific corroboration, a research group from Chadswhipple Crosshire Down By The Lake Rockshire University, outside London, has asserted that blindness could have a definite connection to someone not bein...

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Housemate found in Beefburger

Funny story: Housemate found in Beefburger

Shoppers in England and Ireland today were shocked to discover that Beefburgers stocked by many of the leading supermarkets have been found to contain meat from former 'Big Brother' housemate Jade Goody. DNA testing by the Irish Food Standard Agen...

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Chief Whip to attempt Knievel-style jump of Whitehall gate

Funny story: Chief Whip to attempt Knievel-style jump of Whitehall gate

After yet another abortive attempt by Andrew Mitchell to use the main vehicle gate into Whitehall, the two sides of the Gate Gate conflict have have been outlining their next move. The police have reiterated their determination not to open the Big...

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Higgs Boson Found! It's About Time Says Sweeney Vet

Funny story: Higgs Boson Found! It's About Time Says Sweeney Vet

Cern scientists revealing results from the Large Hadron Collider have claimed the discovery of a new particle consistent with the Higgs boson. Boffins have been searching for 45 years for the particle which they believe will explain how matter at...

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Two Police Divers Missing Overnight Conducting Jubilee Pageant Security Duties

Funny story: Two Police Divers Missing Overnight Conducting Jubilee Pageant Security Duties

Although details remain somewhat sketchy at the moment, it appears reasonably certain that two police divers, conducting underwater security operations ahead of the Diamond Jubilee Pageant went missing last night in the vicinity of Tower Bridge. W...

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London Police Station Explosion Latest!

Funny story: London Police Station Explosion Latest!

Park Lane, London: Controversy has raged since the announcement from the Metropolitan Police with regards to whether an explosion occurred at either Croydon or Park Lane Police Stations. What is known is that fire crews from Woodside, Croydon, No...

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Louisville - Mayor Fischer To Use Convicted Felons As Police Officers

Funny story: Louisville - Mayor Fischer To Use Convicted Felons As Police Officers

Louisville KY. - Mayor Greg Fischer's recommended spending plan for the 2012-2013 fiscal year that will begin July 1, 2012 and ending June 31, 2013, has a total $712 million in spending. This spending included strategic investments in job creation, p...

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A Safe Notting Hill Carnival Run By and Featuring Police To go Ahead - But Closed to the Public

Funny story: A Safe Notting Hill Carnival Run By and Featuring Police To go Ahead - But Closed to the Public

Leaving their decision to the 11th Hour the police have announced a controversial compromise over one of the world's most famous street parties, the Notting Hill Carnival. This year the event will be closed off to the public but in order to allow the...

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Syrian Government Stands 'Shoulder to Shoulder' with UK During Riots

In a surprising turn of events, Syrian President Bashar Al-Assad has appeared with British Prime Minister David Cameron in a joint press conference in the Syrian capital Damascus. Mr Al-Assad, who has been criticised for his violent suppression of...

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Manchester Riots: MP's Enraged

Funny story: Manchester Riots: MP's Enraged

Manchester has suffered the worst riots and public unrest in the city's history. Yobs, youths, and grown men that should know better, laid siege to the centre of Manchester last night. A government spokesman said early this morning: "These fol...

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Riots: Police blame lack of intelligence

Funny story: Riots: Police blame lack of intelligence

A spokesperson for New Scotland Yard, Chief Inspector White, known as Whitewash of The Yard, has blamed "a lack of Police intelligence." For the poor police response to the rioting of the past few nights in the streets of London and other British cit...

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England Riots: Public Enemy Number One

Funny story: England Riots: Public Enemy Number One

England was tonight bracing itself for yet another night of civil unrest and rioting. Violence and destruction is no longer confined to London and the London boroughs, and has now spread as far as Manchester and Leeds, Bristol, Wolverhampton and Birm...

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Essex euthanasia scandal. Day two

Funny story: Essex euthanasia scandal. Day two

The village green at Landfill Tawny which up until recently echoed to the sound of leather on willow and the voices of young children at play now drones to the sound of generators feeding electricity to the plethora of press and TV vans. The usual...

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Breaking news…

Trump Thinks Deaths at End of Avengers Infinity Wars Were Real

He sends the Secret Service to the movie set of Avengers 4 to do some investigating.
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