Written by cheesehoven

Thursday, 2 October 2008

image for Criminals weep as they pay tribute to Ian Blair
Hoodies weep as their hero resigns

"He knew our criminality sprang from lack of opportunity so he endeavored to give us more."

A tearful mugger and part time murderer spoke for many when he said, on hearing the news of Ian Blair's resignation, "he was the best friend we ever had."

Many agree.

At a meeting drawn up at short notice by UK and international Crime Lords, many careerist criminals big or small paid tribute to the overdue resignation of the useless Police commissioner.

"He understood us and our criminal ways," Stated Joe Chill, drug dealer from Kennington, "and was always quick to encourage us."

"He knew our criminality sprang from lack of opportunity so he endeavored to give us more."

"He realised poverty was the cause of crime." Added one big city millionaire embezzler and swindler from Harrow.

"Under him, the Metropolitan Police was an equal opportunity employer - for us."

Amid the tributes, fears were expressed for the future.

"Boys, I think the golden days are over." Said Don Luigi, mafia boss.

Elsewhere, spontaneous street parties erupted among law abiding citizens and ordinary Bobbies.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
32 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more