Apprentice shock - shameless update

Funny story written by EXECUTIVE

Sunday, 7 June 2009

In a major upset today the results of this years yet to be run apprentice final were found inside a discarded kebab wrapper by a passing investigative reporter.

The reporter - a well-known figure in the world of investigative journalism happened to be passing Sir Alan Sugars house, round the back, where the wheelie bins are, at 4.30am this morning.

Announcing his find to a shocked audience outside the kebab shop the wrapper came from, the winner was declared as "that restaurant owning bird who looks as if she knows everything". Asked if he could verify his find the reporter confirmed that the scrawled answer was indeed in Sir Alans own hand. I'm a good friend of Nick & Margaret, he went on - so I went to see them at 6am (they live together you know) and they were happy to confirm what they saw.

The BBC is understood to be ready to issue a statement at the start of the show later today which will be read out by the kebab shop owner who will then also appear on the subsequent programme "the apprentice - you're hired" with his wife, coz she's quite nice.

Plans to introduce telephone voting have however been shelved in light of this revelation confirmed the head of Corporate revenues at the BBC - Max Earner.

Asked whether the investigative journalist was really Jeremy Vine trying to drum up interest in the boring Panorama programme, Max declined to comment - but when pushed said yes.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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