The Metropolitan Police announced this morning that the entire Barcelona delegation, currently staying in London ahead of tonight's Champions League semi-final showdown with Chelsea, has been put under extensive surveillance in the interests of British justice.
"We were going to arrest them, like we did with the Manchester United lot," Detective Chief Inspector Barry Sledgehammer of the Yard told us. "But that didn't work. They came and done a number on the Arse. So we decided to adopt a different approach. We've got undercover men infiltrating the Barcelona team at their hotel. Our boys will be tripping them up in hotel corridors, demanding to know what they're looking at and offering them outside for a fight. Stuff like that. We'll have a London team win this trophy one day. By hook or by crook."
Barcelona Head Coach, Pepe Guardiola was unfazed by the intimidatory tactics adopted by the Met. He told us:
"Sure they try to intimidate us. We take it as a compliment. As for who will join Manchester in Rome, we'll just have to wait and see."
We asked Didier Drogba for a quote but he was too busy contemplating a new hairstyle.
More as it comes in.
