Beatles To Play 50 Wembley Stadium Gigs This Summer

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Monday, 4 May 2009

image for Beatles To Play 50 Wembley Stadium Gigs This Summer
The Fab Four - Back In The Saddle After All These Years

It was announced today to a packed press conference that the Beatles will be playing fifty gigs at Wembley Stadium this summer - in direct opposition to Michael Jackson's O2 Arena marathon.

This has been made possible by US high tech corporation, Robotech Inc of San Fernando California, who have invested billions of dollars in creating a robotic simulation of the fab four, using the world's foremost programmers, modellers, technicians and imagineers.

The robots, actually a hybrid of robot, animatronic, and artificial intelligence are said to be capable of recreating every movement and sound of an original Beatles gig, and are said to be able to respond to external stimuli such as crowd noise, levels of applause etc in a perfectly natural manner.

"This is really exciting for us," said BS Merchant, CEO of Robotech Inc. "We've got these guys looking so lifelike and acting so naturally that even their wives would struggle to tell the difference. These won't be stationary either, they'll run onto the stage just like the original fab four did all those years ago, and they've been programmed with every subtle nuance of the originals harvested from a mountain of archive footage. You could even hold a conversation with them. We've tried it, and it really works."

The robotic Beatles will be controlled from a vast data server via dozens of high end terminals which will determine in millionths of a second how the robot will react. And they will actually be playing the instruments and performing the songs.

"It's not like we'll have some robots moving about on a stage to old Beatles tracks. These robots will perform the music themselves," BS Merchant told us. "This will be the next best thing to the real thing."

We were curious as to why such an ambitious project should set up in direct opposition to Michael Jackson's O2 Arena stint?

Dirk Schlongtugger, Executive PR Director told us:

"We wanted to prove a point. Jackson's had it. Given a choice between four lads from Liverpool who shook the world and a space freak from Gary, Indiana, who thinks he's some kind of God, which would you pick?"

Tickets are available now.

More as we get it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more