Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 26 April 2009

image for British Family Returns From Mexico Without Swine 'Flu
See? No pigs

There was good news for a British family tonight after they returned to the UK from their Mexican holiday, safe and sound without having caught the potentially-deadly Swine 'Flu.

The Macawber family, from Chichester, spent three weeks in Mexico, and said they would have been extremely surprised to have caught the virus, as they had not come across any pigs at all whilst in the country.

John and Sally Macawber and their two children, Curtis, 8, and Steigers, 27, paid just under £2,300 for their 21-night stay at the Riu Cancun hotel on the Caribbean coast. The hotel is right on the Cancun beachfront, and surrounded by soft sands and sapphire waters, so you're only ever seconds from the beach. Plus it means every room comes with a sea view. Location-wise, you're in the centre of all the action too - just footsteps from two shopping centres and a 15-minute walk from Cancun's buzzing nightlife.

Back at the hotel, the swimming pools really steal the show. There are three in total, snaking their way around the complex. There's one with two integrated whirlpools and one with a swim-up bar. You'll also find plenty of sun terraces, accessorised with loungers and umbrellas, as well as tables and chairs for al fresco lunches.

Inside, the standards are just as high. An elegant marble lobby leads to the bedrooms, which are effortlessly stylish. They're decked out in a palette of cool blues and fresh creams, and come with smart mahogany furniture.

When it comes to dining, you've got plenty of choice. There are four restaurants in total - two buffets and two à la cartes - which serve up a great range of local and international cuisine. Breakfast includes hot and cold dishes, while lunch features favourites like pizzas, pasta and salad. Last but certainly not least, dinner brings a fantastic choice of international, Mexican, Japanese, Rodizio and grill restaurants.

Don't have the pork this week, though.

Pork's off.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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