TALIBANISTAN - PORKISTAN: The Taliban have been crowing with delight. Mullah Sheepullah is reputed to told the BBC's man in Porkistan - Atticus Drammaticus:
"There is no swine flu in our pure Muslim land because we do not eat or sleep with pigs. However we Taliban are very partial to fat-tailed sheep. They are so very cuddly on those cold Swat nights - and oh, those deep brown eyes!"
From his cave deep in the NW Frontier Provinces a gaunt Osama bin Laden exhorted the pig-eating world to convert to the one true religion - his.
However, an international health organization has cautioned that while jihadis may think they are safe from the swine flu because they avoid direct contact with pigs, their unusually close association with sheep is another story.
Dr. Zeus, chief of epidemiology said: "These barbarians are rather unwashed, smelly and unclean as they do not bathe regularly. So we have to regularly immerse them in a heavy-duty solution of sheep-dip otherwise they might be completely wiped out by Ovine flu".