Written by Earl Grey

Saturday, 25 April 2009

image for Elton John To Sign On
Glad He Died Before The Crisis

Elton John has become the latest in a long line of celebrities to suffer as the result of the credit crunch. Down to his last £70 million the star has been forced to attend Watford Job Centre Plus.

The singer was asked what his plans were. "It's a little bit funny this feeling inside. I don't have much money but boy if I did I'd by a big house where we both could live."

He was then asked what work he was looking for. "If I was a sculptor, but then again, no. Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show. I know it's not much but it's the best I can do."

He was immediately told that if he did not accept the job collecting trollys at Tescos he would lose his benefits. He agreed as long as he could keep Saturday night free.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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