London - (Apocalyptic Mess): Just as the St George's Day news broke that lardass northern wannabe Susan Boyle is the bloodchild of Queen Elizabeth II and the Omagh Bomber newly appointed UK anti-terror supremo John Yates stormed the Buckingham Palace ramparts at daybreak and busted the legendary royal baby cloning factory in the late Queen Mum's Herman Goering Memorial Suite.
Spurred on by the day's sensation Sun Trine Pluto astrology Yates finally wreaked his revenge on the hoax monarchy which in a 2002 sudden slippery coup de foudre denied him the jailing of Princess Diana's crack dealer cum butler Paul Burrell.
Storming their way into the Palace's notorious Empty Quarter Yates's men finally smashed open the portals to the Decloaking Chamber only to find Old Fatty Mountbatten lying prostrate on the Aubusson carpet, a trickle of arsenic still effervescing on her lips.
A copy of the Daily Fascist Budget Report was lying on the carpet displaying the grim headlines Darling Screws Over Filthy Rich With 50% Tax Hike Shocker.
Prince Harry is a rabid nutter.