Revealed: the content of the Conservative E-mail smears

Funny story written by Mass debating

Tuesday, 21 April 2009

image for Revealed: the content of the Conservative E-mail smears
damian mcbride

The content of the recent email smears against the Conservative party have been kept secret from the media due to the sensitive nature of the content.

I have, however, gained exclusive access to them.

For those easily offended please do not read any further.

Brown's close aide Damian McBride plotted to cripple Conservative election hopes with a vile campaign of unfounded and obscene rumours.

Smear one said Mr Cameron is sad and can't speak because he has pebbles in his cheeks which is why he sounds like a spaz.

The second claimed Shadow Chancellor George Osborne was a tit and carnt even count so why is he in charge of adding stuff up when he can't even count, like I said.

McBride also made cruel and false allegations about Mr Osborne's pet goat "Cheeky cheeks".

The third message said Tory MP Nadine Dorries had a well fit arse and she is well worth bangin.

Smear four claimed a secretly gay Tory MP is like that fella off the telly Gokā€¦ cause he lets men bum him and that. Sick man.

My source asked to remain unknown and I cannot substantiate these claims.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more