Written by Mass debating

Tuesday, 21 April 2009

image for Revealed: the content of the Conservative E-mail smears
damian mcbride

The content of the recent email smears against the Conservative party have been kept secret from the media due to the sensitive nature of the content.

I have, however, gained exclusive access to them.

For those easily offended please do not read any further.

Brown's close aide Damian McBride plotted to cripple Conservative election hopes with a vile campaign of unfounded and obscene rumours.

Smear one said Mr Cameron is sad and can't speak because he has pebbles in his cheeks which is why he sounds like a spaz.

The second claimed Shadow Chancellor George Osborne was a tit and carnt even count so why is he in charge of adding stuff up when he can't even count, like I said.

McBride also made cruel and false allegations about Mr Osborne's pet goat "Cheeky cheeks".

The third message said Tory MP Nadine Dorries had a well fit arse and she is well worth bangin.

Smear four claimed a secretly gay Tory MP is like that fella off the telly Gokā€¦ cause he lets men bum him and that. Sick man.

My source asked to remain unknown and I cannot substantiate these claims.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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