Legal Age Of Smoking And Drinking To Be Lowered To Help Stimulate Economy

Funny story written by Atticus Finch

Tuesday, 24 March 2009

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The Government have voted unanimously to lower the age of drinking and smoking to 14 in a bid to aid the ailing economy.

Gordon Brown is expected to announce the new measures on Wednesday.

A spokesman said "It is a great idea - the more kids we can get smoking and drinking the better. The extra revenue from taxes could powerhouse the economy and help save not only jobs in off-licenses but may see the end of pub closures that have been occurring on a day to day basis."

However there are critics to the move.

Conservative leader Cameron Diaz announced "The age should be reduced to 11 not 14 - lets face it - most 14 year old kids are drinking and smoking already, we would be better off allowing fags and booze to be sold in schools!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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