Written by Dungeekin

Tuesday, 7 April 2009

British soft-drink and smoothie manufacturer Innocent Drinks has announced that it has sold a 20% stake in itself to the Coca-Cola Corporation.

Co-founders Richard Reed, Adam Balon and Jon Wright said the investment would be used to take the business to the "next level of success" in innovation and expansion in Europe.

However, the sale of the stake means that the brand has also committed to changing and developing its product range further, to be more in line with the Coca-Cola ethos.

Reed said, "obviously we are going to make some changes to the drinks. The smoothies will now have added, unidentified 'vegetable extracts', and we aim to increase the amount of added sugar and CO2 by 125% over the next two years. This will be matched by a new marketing scheme whereby, much as Coca-Cola did with Santa and Christmas, we become inextricably associated with the Easter Bunny".

As part of the deal, Innocent Drinks is to undergo a rebranding, and from 1 May will be renamed 'Fucking Evil Drinks'.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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