A man whose wife made him a mug of hot drinking chocolate before bedtime tonight, didn't drink it immediately, got involved in some other activities, and ended up having to quoff the lot sharpish, before it was so cold that it would have given him wi...
It was a dark and stormy night. Donald Treetrunk brought his fishing boat into the dock in the port harbor in the tiny country of Martinique. His first mate Mike Pinch gamely jumped onto the dock to tie off the boat. A portly fisherman named Rudy took out a wad of francs, and counted out the days account. "C-cccan I go to the Treetrunk Tower for a drink, boss!" stammered Pinch, "I-I-I'm startin...
WEST HOLLYWOOD - The former husband of Katy Perry, Russell Brand says that during his life he has taken all kinds of drugs and drank all kinds of drinks. He claims that he is now drug-free as well as drink-free. He recently confided to his hairsty...
A recent Gallup poll conducted over the last weekend seems to suggest that the Tea Party may consider changing its name. While the nation is coping with the shutdown and many families are struggling to find ways to put food and drinks on the table ma...
MARINA DEL REY - Lindsay Lohan has made it known in the past that out of all of the bars and lounges she has been in her very favorite one is The Drunk Duck Lounge in Marina Del Rey. Lindsay has been going there for the past three years and she ha...
New York NY - Police attempted to restore order today in Times Square amid a tumult of rioting fat people. Spokesperson Ms. Phat Derrierey explained why protest had turned to violence. "It's that ban an large sugary drinks. We all decided that e...
NEW YORK CITY - The Crocodile Sports Drink Company of Bedford-Stuyvesant, New York, has issued a statement saying it will soon be removing a highly controversial ingredient from its line of energy sports drinks. Sahara Sara Serpentulli, spokespers...
Adult Beverage Magazine has just released their list of The Top 10 Most Unpopular Drinks of 2012. Magazine Editor Ballantine Brouhahaburger, 88, pointed out that this year a total of 917,361 people responded to The Adult Beverage Magazine Rate The Drinks Survey. People from every state in the union participated in the survey. The Rate The Drinks Survey committee executive senior director Gen...
The leafy London suburb of Chiswick was recovering on Friday night following a summit meeting of soi-disant Spoofers. While security authorities had been warned in advance, they failed to have the meeting banned and the 'writers' met as planned at...
Popular Scientist, Dr. Denver Colorado has been at it again and today proven that a watched kettle will actually boil. Denver, 43, from Cleethorpes University is an absolute Science boffin and loves solving things in the name of Science. I've often thought that this particular statement was a bit of old waffle but never done anything to try to prove it. I've always been a bit scared of ho...
The United States Supreme Court, now a subsidiary of Haliburton found a whole new meaning for the term judicial activism this weekend when supreme court chief justice Robots was spotted by Ew! entertainment news carousing poolside in Cabo. Drunk a...
Adult Beverage Magazine has just released their annual list of The 10 Most Unpopular Adult Drinks of The Year. Magazine editor Ballantine Brouhahaburger, 87, stated that this year Adult Beverage Magazine received survey forms from 13,832 readers from 49 states, with a total of 791 alcoholic drinks that they deemed to be the most unpopular. Brouhahaburger said that he and two of his assistant...
In what some sources are calling an effort to "make lemonade out of lemons," BP Oil announced today its entry into the soft drink market. "Bubble Up is a drink for all America," said the spokesperson. "It is not only good to drink, but its health...
When the American food giant Kraft took over Cadbury's, many traditionalists regarded the move as the end of an era, bemoaning the loss of a national institution on the cold hard altar of globalisation. But now those very same people are rejoicing...
The British fans of Iron Brew are up in arms at the news that there isn't a drop of their favourite drink to be found across the nation. Apparently some rich American fan's of Susan Boyle's ordered every last drop and are having it shipped over to...
The Assembly Health Committee is again considering the ban of all soft drinks in Los Angeles and perhaps all of the US. Not only for health reasons of childhood and adolescent obesity but to save the planet from the tons of CO2 released as the ca...
If you need something to stimulate your sexual drive you will no longer have to rely on the little blue pill that sounds like Vagina. Soft drink companies have gotten the go ahead from the FDA to promote a product under the line of "Hard Drink". The contents of the Hard Drink have minute amounts of the original sex stimulate and will "make a males member monstrous in minutes". The hype...
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