Written by paddy stash

Monday, 6 April 2009

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i love you all

A fresh helping of anguish peppered with disgust was ladled into the British public's soup bowl today after yet another MP's expense account was exposed to the nation.

Simon Prissypants, the MP for Dribbly-Salterton,has come under-fire from protest group
"whateverhappened2fuckinhonesty?" for being out of touch with the common man after it was revealed that he had handed the taxpayer the bill for a baffling spending spree.

Items on Mr Prissypants's bill include..

Gold Hungarian chin rest - £1200
Signed Jimmy Saville photo (circa 1976) - £444
Minature Railway for Back Garden - £50,000
A volcanic rock from Indonesia that he throws walnuts at - £600
Walnuts - £2755
String Quartet to play each evening meal - £1000 per week
Mexican Goose Placenta - £75,000
A year in Provence DVD boxset - £6.50

Founder member of"whateverhappened2fuckinhonesty" Grint Cheesecloth had this to say: "I'm mad, seething badger-baiting mad. This just goes to show that MP's can do what they like, and the British people, Christ, don't get me started, they will read all about this, express some mild disgust and just go back to their cuppa tea like its a normal bloody Monday...I'm shitting fish fingers over this and nobody cares. Maybe I'm wasting my time, maybe I've wasted my whole life!"

Mr Simon Prissypants was unavailable for comment, but sent his houseboy with a statement..."The Right Hon King Lord Simon wishes to tell you all his opinion on the matter but has judged that you couldn't afford it"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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