As a new initiative the UK government is set to introduce a new green tax called - 'The Sh*it Tax'. Its the brain child of Alistair Darling.
'The Shit tax' would be calculated by weight -the more you shit the more tax you pay, the less yo shit the less you pay.
Alistair Darling has repeatedly claimed how large amounts of poo has correlation with obesity, diabetes, heart disease and the chopping down of trees. Darling stated its a known fact 'Fatties produce more excrement as a result of a large intake of carbohydrates -potatoes, wheat and chocolates. This method would encourage the fatties to eat sensibly a healthier lifestyle leading to less weight and more space on aeroplanes, cars and buses. Less shit would mean less vermin, no vermin a safer environment.
Green lobbyists have welcomed the move, a spokesperson for 'the fat bastard party' were in uproar 'This is discrimination against fat people, we have done nothing wrong, we eat normally like anyone else if anything we have always heavily supported the retail food sector with our over indulgence, if this is implemented we're all going on hunger strike!'
Satchi and satchi the advertising gurus have developed the slogan for the new shit tax: 'Don't do a big shit, do a small one, and save a life and a tree.'
On the news Armitage Shanks saw its share price double.