There was drama at the top of the Premier League last night, as Manchester United Sir Alex Ferguson who was watching the Fulham v. Liverpool game on telly with his wife Cathy at their Wilmslow home, had a nasty accident when the Merseysiders scored in injury time to win 1-0.
The Scot felt his sphincter twitch, and shit himself.
As Liverpool struggled to find the net against the Londoners, it seemed they would have to settle for a draw, but Yossi Benayoun popped up to score an injury-time winner, and Sir Alex filled his pants.
Mrs Ferguson quickly cleaned the mess up, and averted any long-term damage to their large red Chesterfield sofa by applying Stain Devil furniture cleaner.
She was powerless to stop Sir Alex's underpants being ruined, however. They could not be salvaged, and had to be thrown away.
Liverpool's victory means that they, and not United, now top the Premier League for the first time since November, and, despite United's two games in hand, it is the Anfield team that everyone is now tipping to land their first League title since 1990.
