Written by matwil

Sunday, 5 April 2009

image for Body comes forward to claim severed head
Mr L Party used to stand for socialism, but is now controlled by Barry O'Hara's dog

A body today came forward in South-east England, to claim the severed head that had been found in a field there.

Mr L Party, aged 108, told reporters: 'The head, with the brain, is what really makes someone who they are, without my head I had just turned into a bland nothing, no personality, no intelligence, and no relation to the me that anyone could recognise any more. But now I've found my head again I expect I'll be back at my job on Monday, as I'm the leader of Westminster Council.'

A hops picker, Mr Barry O'Hara, who had looked after the body since he had found it, said: 'Well, I'm glad L Party is united with his brain again, otherwise he would have remained a vegetable, unable to speak or doing anything of importance, and just be like a zombie with no power or independence, doing whatever I told it to do.'

And the head said: 'If Barry had told me throw myself into a canal I would have done it, or if he'd told me to commit ritual hari-kiri with a blunt teaspoon, I'd've been straight over to the cutlery drawer. But now my head and brains are back I can show everyone how independent and smart I am, never running around after Barry like a little trained lapdog.'

'Mr Party', O'Hara said in that ridiculously pompous voice he uses, like a failed Hollywood movie actor in an episode of Rawhide, 'go and kill yourself in Afghanistan!' 'Yes, Mr O'Hara, anything you say, Mr O'Hara', and it seemed that although the Party had its head back it's tail was still being wagged by everyone, including Barry O'Hara and his dog.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: England, Body, head




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