Explorers today announced they'd discovered a new nation in England, and decided to call it Montgomeryland.
The nation lies near the English capital of London, and its people - the indigenous tribe of Colins - are unique in that part of the world, as they claim that they really belong to the ancient nation of Scotland, despite having absolutely no connection with it at all, no way Jose Maria Olazajazagolfbal.
Tribal chieftain Colin McMontgomery gave a brief and rare interview about the discovery. 'Och aye', he said, ' what? One's Scottish heritage is about as genuine as a Prime Minister's accent, don't you know. And the rumour that the Colins only claim to be Scottish because they never win anything is frightfully untrue - just ask Asa Hartford.'
'I shall be leading my tribe into glorious but inevitable failure in the war against America - failure again, it's rather addictive to keep losing. Can you lend us a tenner for a couple of pints of 80 and a fish supper, pal?'
Sam Torrance was also approached for an interview, but English reporters couldn't understand what he was saying. Just as well that Montgomeryland is full of Scots that speak good English. What?