Mr. Brian Brain a Government scientist speaking on condition of anonymity today informed me that water was to be banned with immediate effect after traces of Hydrogen had been found in it during a routine test.
The anonymous source advised us that "Beer" would also be banned as "Yeast" a sexually transmitted disease had also been discovered and that it would soon also be cleared from supermarket shelves in a bid to protect the populace.
"We've found all sorts of anomalies," whispered the scientist, "from "Starch" (a chemical used in dry cleaning) in potatoes to "cornflour" (used in the drug trade to freebase cocaine) in gravy.
"It's looking like food will have to banned completely," pondered the Professor in bewilderment.
