Just coming in - A crash occurred seconds ago in Well Street, Hackney, London E9. Incoming reports suggest that a VW Golf shunted into a Renault Kangoo. No reports as yet of any injuries. The drivers are currently exchanging insurance details.
An onlooker called us on his mobile and said:
"I can confirm that there was indeed a crash, but only one of minor proportions. The VW Golf gently shunted the rear end of the kangoo. There was no real damage. The driver of the VW Golf emerged from his vehicle and immediately apologised, stating that he was on his way to his local pharmacy because he had a a bad dose of the crabs and that it was driving him effin mad. Which he claimed was the cause of his momentary loss of concentration. 'Itch like a bitch' he said."
The footsie 100 fell by 126 points as the news came in, and it prompted GM to announce two factory closures.
More utterly irrelevant news as we get it.
