News just in. Ringo Starr the 'fourth' beatle is to study for a degree at Bill Shankley Institute Liverpool. He originally tried to enroll on the music program, but a lack of talent prevented him from taking up a place. Instead he is to study for the little known degree in Thomas the Tank Engine Studies.
Ringo is delighted to take the opportunity to gain a qualification. He is still regarded as the most brain dead beatle, even though two of the others are actually dead.
The college was also going to accept Heather Mills on a degree in gold digging. However she pulled out when she was told that she would have to stump up for her course fees.
An official Beatles spokesperson said "Obladi oblada. What the fuck does that mean".
