House prices have risen to an all time high in heaven according to a leaked Church of England report. The average dwelling costs 179K which is shunting out many first time die'ers. Many family homes often lay empty for several years, leaving many single accommodation seekers struggling to find somewhere to 'live'.
A spokesman for heaven said "We are aware of the problem and will be taking action very soon. Many people due to die have been given a bit longer to live to help ease the problem, but we are still taking in entire families as we have suitable accommodation ready."
Recently deceased Les Wilson 78, a retired shopkeeper from Stevenage said " Its a bloody disgrace, I thought heaven would be great but its actually just as crap. I still struggle paying for my heating & everyone is really boring. Makes me wish I had been a bastard back down on earth. Hell would have been much better,and warmer too."
God was unavailable to comment
