Newspaper to be taken to court by cancer victim

Funny story written by Steddyeddy

Saturday, 21 February 2009

image for Newspaper to be taken to court by cancer victim
Tyhe only court Mrs Regan can afford to consult

Janet Regan, a 31 year old mother of three from Peterborough is taking a British tabloid newspaper to court.

Mrs Regan, with three young children and a husband who was made redundant last week due to the greed of British Bankers not allowing him a £10,000 loan for his fabulous business idea following his redundancy, is in remission from skin cancer on her arm.

She was very distressed last week when news of her 4-year fight for cancer drugs and treatment at her local hospital was highlighted in a sentence on page 17 of her daily newspaper

She claimed that she was only a housewife struggling by with miniscule help from the state, with no major London publicist or agent acting on her behalf, and felt that her 4-year fight with the NHS for drugs which she simply cannot afford herself should not overshadow the front page publicity that has been given all week to a terminally-ill millionaire Big Brother contestant.

She went on to say that she felt her years as an elderly care worker and as a volunteer at her local hospice shop at weekends when her husband was employed pales into insignificance when compared to the books, OK! magazine deals and other activities of the Big Brother contestant.

She also said that while she saved the lived of three elderly charged during her 6 year care career, this is nothing compared to the contribution the Big Brother contestant has made to society, to race relations and to the bank account of a highly-paid London publicist.

She sincerely apologises for any inconvenience caused and for taking up a valuable sentence on page 17, and is taking them to court to retract the sentence, as she doesn't want to appear in the eyes of her neighbours - who have spent almost 4 years helping her fight her cause - as a sentence-grabbing, money grubbing, publicity-seeker.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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