Premiership referees admit: "We do target certain clubs and players."

Funny story written by Everyman

Tuesday, 3 February 2009

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Referees admit: we are just a load of bankers

An anonymous source has admitted what all sports media have been reporting for some time, that referees target certain clubs and players and also let other clubs get away with murder. In an off the record conversation with this website, a senior referee said:

"Of course we tailor our decisions to the club that's playing. Obviously we don't make unpopular decisions at Old Trafford or in front of the Kop. I mean do you think we are crazy? It's one of us against twenty thousand baying fans, the entire country's media and sports literate population. I mean do you think we are crazy?"

Another referee, who privately admits to being a Chelsea fan, said that he has given up trying to disguise his bias decisions.

"The pundits have got it right. I mean far be it for me to criticize them, most of who have never refereed in their lives and who have the benefit of seeing any decision many times in the comfort and safety of a studio, instead of having to blow up after a split second in the cauldron that is the a premiership stadium. They have us bang to rights.

"We can't compete against the billions of pounds involved in the premiership and the huge financial impact that a penalty or red card could make - so we bend the rules to fit the game." He paused. "Hang on - isn't that what the financial services industry did, and the government gave them billions of pounds? Maybe that's why crowds call us a load of hopeless bankers every week!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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