Written by NODDY

Tuesday, 3 February 2009

image for New anti-crime initiative
PC Gibbon, the long arm of the law

New initiatives have been announced in the fight against crime (and the causes of crime, etc.).

A new force of 5,000 men, to be called a "Police Force" is to be assembled, and these men will patrol the streets on foot and in cars, to prevent crime happening and arrest perpetrators of crime. This band of hardy souls will be out whatever the weather, and not hiding behind speed guns or being used as stewards at football matches or spending all day in the warm doing paperwork.

The new Force, the brainchild of a Right-Wing thinktank, will operate from "Police Stations" which will be located locally for the convenience of the public and open 24 hours a day. The proposals also extend to "Courts of Law", where people found guilty of crimes will be fined or, radically, locked up for serious crimes for a time that is commensurate with the misery they have caused (and to prevent others from doing the same crime) in "Prisons".

An all-party Law and Order commitee has examined the proposals and concede that "they may just work".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Police, Crime

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