Written by Bureau

Wednesday, 14 January 2009

image for Arrested Man Admits He's Been Bad, Asks To Be Punished
Police: Keys To Different Cabinets Full Of Goodies

Lawrence Schilling, 32, is charged by police with the running of S&M parties from his house. Actually, the charges are keeping a house of ill repute for lewdness, lending or selling articles for self abuse and, for good measure, assault on a police officer.

Schilling still lives with his mother, who admits she was "stunned" to learn he "may be" involved in "the sadomasochistic scene."

"Larry has always been a good boy...a very good boy. Come sit by Mama, and be good."

But Lawrence was out the door anfd headed for jail kicking at officers and yelling, "NO! I'm a bad boy and you should be beating me with those night sticks!"

Schilling had allegedly been holding parties every two weeks for six months, and when the Littleboro, N.J., police raided a recent party they "discovered about 65 men and women in various stages of undress along with whips, chains and other paraphernalia."

But, his mother said, he is her son: "I'm proud of him. But the other part of me wants to spank him. Spank him HARD!! Like I did when he was only 22." (Littleboro Sun)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Crime

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
79 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more