Westminster - Minister for Desperate Situations, the Rt Hon Chris Talmighty today appealed for a youth led musical revolution to deliver us all from the evil of recession, on the grounds that it worked in the seventies.
Mr Talmighty referred to the state Britain was in during the 1970's and the positive effects of the Sex Pistols filthy and furious career.
"You can say what you like about the Sex Pistols," he told us. "But nobody can deny that their vile songs and gratuitous swearing on tea time TV helped us all through some difficult times."
We didn't question the minister, but we did have the temerity to ask him what exactly it was he was getting at.
"Are you thick or what? This country needs a new breed of Sex Pistol, somebody who comes out and tells it like it is. We've had enough of Blairite blandness in the media. Where are the new Sex Pistols?"
Speaking from Los Angeles, former Pistols frontman Johnny Rotten, who these days is referred to as John Lydon told us:
"Who is this Chris Talmighty? He means nothing whatsoever to us as a band. Idiot."
We then asked Sir John Lydon nee Rotten to swear in a really bad way so we'd have something controversial to report.
"Stinky poo poos."
More as we get it.