English GCSE to allow text speak

Funny story written by IainB

Monday, 26 January 2009

image for English GCSE to allow text speak
Text your exam answers to 68000 starting with PASS

In an effort to encourage more children to take their GCSE English exam, the JMB have announced that they will now allow fifteen and sixteen year old children to submit their papers in TxtSpk.

It has been widely acknowledged that the literacy of the current crop of schoolchildren is well below that of even twenty years ago, and this latest initiative is to level the playing field.

"We no kdz cant rite prply," JMB spokesperson Neil Downs said via text message. "This will let thm xprs thmslf in thr own lngg. We r cnsdrng alwng stdnt 2 txt ansrs in."

Popular tabloids have decried the initiative as a further devolution of the English language, and makes a mockery of the exams.

"How can we expect the leaders of tomorrow to be fully conversant and cognisant of the full breadth and beauty of their mother tongue when they barely know what a vowel is, or how to utilise them in a carefully constructed sentence," said Giles Wordsworth, editor of the Sun newspaper. "The quality of the questioning on the examination is obviously being lowered in order to ensure a greater pass rate, rather than improve the quality of teaching to ensure a more well rounded individual."

MoR l8r wen we gt it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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