After the recent criticism of the Government by Church of England bishops, the Anglican church today denied it was itself a money-lender.
'Look', the Right Reverend Woolham Bleatey said, 'we're a church, and it is our duty to point out everyone else's faults. Sorry, got to dash, it's eighth day after Natwestmas, and I need to check my stocks - I mean flock - are all OK.' And another Bishop, Dr. Tutu Mtutsi, added: 'OK, the C of E has millions invested in shares, which is lending to companies in return for a dividend, but no way is that, er, money-lending, such as the monstrously evil Labour government encourages.'
Some were wondering how a Christian church that has millions of pounds of investments, including those in arms manufacturers, and millions of pounds worth of properties
can make any moral criticisms of a government which whatever its faults, is simply dealing with a country's finances as well as it can. Others were less kind.
'Grown men dressing up in purple frocks, and preaching about money-lending and morality when they're lending money themselves to help companies kill people, you couldn't make it up!', said Mr. Alistair Darling MP. 'Not even a child would believe that crap, it would be like saying Jesus rose from the dead. They should stick to telling fairy stories and wearing ridiculous clothes, let us deal with banks and taxation.'
Jesus was spotted in York Minster, angrily overturning the tables of the money-lenders there.
