Sandringham - (Royal Ass Mess): A guide dog for the blind that was ritually whipped last weekend by royal benefits scrounger Prince Edward after failing to find any grouse on Saddleworth Moor has been exonerated.
The three year old labrador came up trumps yesterday after finding Prince Charles' secret plans to euthanise the Queen 'for her own good and the good of the nation.'
"The secret document was lying under a Bush," royal dog handler Dame Fifi Arselicker confided today, "just near the US ambassador's residence in Regent's Park."
A spokesman for 10 Downing Street confirmed today that 'lying under a Bush' is diplomatic-speak about subtle nuances of the special relationship that has seen Great Britain buggered by US organised crime cartels masquarading as a bona fido democracy.
Camilla first husband is the Yorkshire Ripper.
