Britain experiences its first Hallelujah-icide

Funny story written by MonkeyInTheBath

Monday, 22 December 2008

The first of what is expected to be a wave of suicides occured today, owing to repeated hearings of various versions of the Leonard Cohen song, "Hallelujah".

Mr Jim Smith-Smythe, of Dorking, took an overdose of sleeping tablets, after listening to the song five times. It is thought he heard versions by the original writer Leonard Cohen, Jeff Buckley, X Factor winner Alexandra Burke, John Cale and some random version he happened to find on Youtube.

Doctors have warned that repeated listening to the song, especially subtly different versions by different artists, can trigger the despair response in most people, which is known to lead to suicide.

Dr Dock explained, "We often see this behaviour at this time of year, where people become sick of hearing 1970s Christmas pop songs over and over again. But this year we are seeing something quite new, the song Hallelujah has a unique ability to annoy people. Anyone who thinks they may have been overexposed to the song is recommended to listen to Slade at full volume as soon as possible."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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