The Labour government today announced it was reopening the Ministry of Silly Walks. Home Secretary Jacqui Smith said: 'As the Home Office does absolutely nothing about crime and law and order, and the Foreign Office just does what Washington tells it to do, and the Treasury couldn't run a piggy bank without messing it up, we've decided to reopen a Ministry that will actually benefit the nation, the Ministry of Silly Walks.'
New Minister for Silly Walks, Sir John Cleeseburger, added: 'The Government once again shows that it's not simply wasting millions of tax pounds in pointless cover-ups and pointless wars, at least it's going to help the citizens of the United Kingdom - to twiddle their feet in a weird manner while waiting at bus stops in the rain. Mind you, you can wait all day for a silly walk in the Brompton Road, then two appear at the same time', as Michael Palin passed by, twirling his umbrella and walking as if he had no knees.
Conservatives were heavily critical of the new Ministry, and their leader, David Cameron, said: 'We criticise everything anyway, out of habit. Let's hope the Government opens a Ministry for Silly Accents next, we're already laughing at Gordon Brown and Alastair Darling's ones!' And Liberal nobody, Mr. Nobody, added: 'It just adds to the comedy routine New Labour has become.'
But the Ministry received a surprise overseas supporter, the 43rd President of the United States, George W Bush. 'My fellow Pythonians, the time has come for both the American people and the British peoples to support this initiative. We must leave no stone unstoned in our search for justice and for freedom, and for free fries. This brain is not deceased, it is merely resting at the Home For The Unwanted Deranged Baboon. Hey, I can do a pretty good silly moonwalk, watch this!', and as Secret Service agents helped the President off the floor, Jacqui Smith said: 'It'll only cost the taxpayer £310 million to set up the Ministry. Merry Christmas!'
But a passing Chancellor said: 'Humbug! The Ministry of Fiddling Banks and Pointless Wars is what the country really needs - though the Ministry for Silly Accents sounds an interesting possibility. Can you lend us a quid for a cup of Glenmorangie, mate?'
