Jeremy Clarkson Tells Drivers "Get To Swindon!"

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 28 October 2008

image for Jeremy Clarkson Tells Drivers "Get To Swindon!"
It may have been better if Richard Hammond had snuffed it

That wanker, Jeremy Clarkson, is at it again! The Top Gear host has reacted to the news that Swindon Council are to remove Speed Cameras on the town's roads by advising members of his viewing audience to: "Get down to Wiltshire! The cameras are down!"

Clarkson, who has written several shit books, is a prime example of what happens when you give artistic licence and lots of TV airtime to a complete dolt.

Rather than advising young drivers to exercise care and caution when out on the roads, the Doncaster dipstick has urged them to race each other, much to the displeasure of law-abiding residents, some of whom have lost relatives in horrific car accidents.

He called the cameras "Cash Cows", and claimed the council's decision to remove them was "a victory for common sense".

Speaking on Top Gear, Clarkson tried to look impressive and intelligent in front of a few frumpy birds half his age, when he said:

"Get your ass to Swindon! Drive as fast as you like! The cameras are gone! Enjoy!"

But a mother in Swindon whose young son was killed on Christmas Day two years ago, when a Boy Racer ploughed into him at 70mph in a 40mph suburban street, said:

"Jeremy Clarkson should think about what he is saying. Had there been a speed camera in my street that day, it would have flashed that idiot driver, who may have then braked, and my son may still have been alive today."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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