Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 2 October 2008


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image for Sir Ian Blair Resigns Over 'Murderer' Claims
Now arrest the guy!

It was a far from routine day at the office for Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Ian Blair today, when 'Britain's Top Cop' resigned after Brazilians living in London called him a 'wanker'.

It was claimed he was a 'murdering son of a bitch' by a group unhappy at the death three years ago of electrician Jean Charles de Menezes.

Sir Blair has constantly denied any responsibility for Mr de Menezes' death, claiming that Deputy Assistant Commissioner Cressida Dick, the officer in charge of the operation that fateful July day, was the murderer.

Despite having a stupid name, Dick escaped prosecution for the crime, and Blair was left 'holding the baby', which was shot in the head SEVEN times by very enthusiastic policemen, who have also escaped prosecution thus far.

Blair was also in trouble recently, when he became the focal point of Racism charges levelled at the Met by Britain's most senior Asian policeman, Met. Assistant Commissioner Tarique Ghaffur.

London Mayor Boris Johnson, whose lack of support for Sir Blair has been blamed for the cop's resignation, said:

"What a frightful little man! Horrible wanker, racist and murderer! Begone, I say!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Police, Ian Blair

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