Boris Johnson to Redesign Telephone Boxes as Public Loos

Written by victor nicholas

Friday, 22 August 2008

image for Boris Johnson to Redesign Telephone Boxes as Public Loos
Boxes Delivered are the Wrong Colour and Design

London - Mayor Boris Johnson has come up with a novel solution to the shortage of public loos in downtown London for tourists and shoppers. The historic red telephone box designed by Sir Giles Gilbert Scott is to be redesigned as a loo under the KX101 banner.

Loos will be traditional red in colour and easy to spot for those in panicky situations.

Excavation has already taken place for the first half dozen to be placed near Westminster Abbey. Several hundred are planned to be installed in time for the 2012 Olympic Games.

Complications have arisen in the construction tender process however. Models delivered on-site do not conform to specifications requiring them to match traditional red telephone boxes using historically correct construction methods. Boxes are turquoise polyethylene with gray roofs instead.

City representative for purchasing for the contract, Neil Giles, insists that the terms of contract are not being met by the models delivered and the contractor is in default.

"We will not be installing turquoise polyethylene telephone boxes in downtown London as public loos."

Peter Witfield, the owner of Witfield Construction, the contractor for the project, is dismayed that delivery has not been accepted.

"We've made some contacts in Hull . . . they may be interested if we paint them cream colour."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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