SANTA FE, New Mexico - (Satire News) - New Mexico has just made history as it has become the first state to legally change one of it's area codes. The area code 666, which includes the New Mexican towns of Papoose Rattle and South Pussyville, will…
I have just read that France has mercifully gotten rid of the majority of their public pay phones. This might sound like a tragedy but it is as necessary as was the French Revolution. In fact, the telephones deserve to be guillotined as much as they…
According to new data, Mom is single-handedly keeping landline phones in existence. Research findings published by Johns Hopkins University have revealed that 100 percent of worldwide landline telephone usage is conducted by your mom. “Most o…
Washington, D. C. The First International Anti-Robocall/Anti-Telemarketer Convention convened here this morning, opening with a rousing prayer, below, given by a minister ordained via email by the Internet Gospel church. "Dear Lord. Since the Fe...
There was 'annoyance in the air' in East Yorkshire this morning, when a man answered his telephone, only to discover that the person who was calling had dialled his number by mistake, and had intended to call someone else. The man, Moys Kenwood, f...
As reported earlier today by Zero Hedge, in tribute to April 1 and the joke's on you, a new automatic answering service to Russian embassy services offers the following options: "You have reached the Russian embassy, your call is very important t...
New York - Time Warner and Comcast, once among the most disrespected companies among U.S. consumers, have succeeded in becoming among the highest rated firms in annual surveys by various business oriented publications, after shifting their brands to...
A recent survey of its members by the UK consumer group, Which?, has identified the most annoying elements of recorded messages played to customers who are waiting for their calls to be answered. The most irritating phrase contains a reassurance t...
Hello Mr Barratt! This is Gavin from Surveysulike.web. Please could you spare us a few minutes of your very precious time (well, half-an-hour really) to take part in a survey about surveys? No need to swear Mr Barratt! Can I call you Robert? No, I can't call you "Winston effing Churchill", Mr Barratt. And how are you today? Suicidal, you say? That's great! Lovely weather, eh? Ah so it'...
Alex Wallbanger of Somerset, Kentucky says that if it hadn't been for the old rotary telephone he would have been in a mess. After his wife, Nuggy, had went to work on the night shift and after they had had some fun in bed, Alex had gone to sleep.
HONG KONG - The republic of China, in its neverending quest to find ways to save money, has just hit upon an excellent idea. They have decided that they will stop printing Chinese phone books in order to save billions of dollars a year. A repre...
June Reynolds of Townsend, Tennessee was hauled away by police still screaming this morning because she had apparently tried over 100 times to get through to someone who would help her sign up for Obamacare. "That's the third one we have had to ar...
"I just found out that it's true", stated Harry Valletti of New Jersey. 'I thought it was another GOP political ploy but People in my slot, $50-$150 per year as a foreman who works 6-7 days a week, I could be out over half my wages with all the new r...
Get Maxwell Don Adams Smart, or Get Smart, as it was called for short, celebrated the U. S. Central Intelligence Agency. It starred Maxwell Don Adams Smart, an actual CIA agent who loved numbers, particularly 99. The series was designed to showcase the efficiency and sophistication of U. S. federal bureaucracies and to make Americans feel safe and happy to part with the millions of dollars in taxe...
Aug 2, 2013, was a historic day in Ashland, WI, when seniors in a breakfast diner learned about the iPhone. The story of an iPhone in the diner was quite a shock to the local retired residents. "What's an iPhone?", asked George Bodin. The you...
Researchers at the Smithsonian Institute revealed a startling find this week. After a long struggle, they had finally cracked the code and now had the ability to access an 1885 message left on a wax disc by Alexander Graham Bell, inventor of the tele...
Brum, Land of the Brummies: Exasperated Brummies have been left with long waits and repeatedly been transferred to wrong Departments because the strong Brummie accent has baffled the voice recognition software. The Brummie twang causes the machin...
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