New knife-crime website criticised

Funny story written by Steddyeddy

Friday, 15 August 2008

image for New knife-crime website criticised
The new "multi stab" for indecisive knife criminals

A new 'amnesty' website aimed at reducing knife crime has attracted fierce criticism from people who criticise such things.

Operated by the Metrololitan Police as a site where teenagers, hoodies and Gordon Ramsay can own up to their crimes against humanity, critics say it doesn't appear to bode well in the spirit of what is trying to be achieved.

Polly Tiques, professor of knives and sharp cutting instruments that might not necessarily be knives at the University of Llandudno, which for some reason is located in Berkshire, said:

"My first concern was the announcement by the BBC on the Six O'Clock news that the National Knife Amnesty site can be found at 'www dot metpolice dot crime forward slash knives'

"Most street gangs, hoodies and Kray Twins will tell you that the 'forward slash' is the favoured method of inflicting harm with a knife in street brawls, school disputes over girlfriends, drug arguments and at Premier Football Matches.

"To have the BBC encouraging this sort of language - well it's not really cricket, although it can sometime be murder. Although, I suppose cricket itself can sometimes be murder, perhaps not as viscious as knife crime, but sometimes it can be better to be quickly stabbed to death rather than painfully bored to death."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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