Hyde Hospital beats all other hospitals for reduced patient waiting lists

Funny story written by Steddyeddy

Tuesday, 3 June 2008

image for Hyde Hospital beats all other hospitals for reduced patient waiting lists
An empty Hyde hospital

In tables released by the Greater Manchester Hospital Trust, Hyde General Hospital topped the league for the single largest reduction in waiting times for patients.

Senior Consultant, Doug Graves said:

"The reduction in Hyde Hospital's waiting list is due in the main to local doctor Harold Shipman, who was able, single-handedly, to reduce the numbers by 215.

"In a hospital the size of Hyde, this is a remarkable achievement."

The Minister for Hospitals, Izzy Sique, said:

"While waiting lists are decreasing throughout the country, it is remarkable that a small local hospital should be able to achieve such a dramatic reduction. I appreciate the method of reduction might not be deemed the most acceptable or recommended, but nevertheless, with an impending general election on the cards, frankly, we're not too concerned. Not that I'm for one minute advocating this method.

"But it is worth remembering that anything that reduces patients' waiting time is to be most welcome.

"The one positive aspect is that Dr Shipman was a local man, didn't have a hook for one arm and didn't sit at home on the dole complaining about the British. He was simply in it for the money."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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