London - (Ass Mess): "Well the PM said to me 'Paint me as I really am, Phil, horns and swastikas and warts and all!' - and so of course I duly obliged," artist Phil Hale said today.
His definitive portrait entitled 'Prima Donna on the Rocks'was commissioned by the ex-UK Prime Monster's new boss Pope Joseph Ratzinger and will hang in the Vatican Gallery from Halloween this year.
"I thought he was a bit twitchy at first," Hale explained, "and kept fidgeting with a vile of Holy Water from the miracle shrine of Lourdes Ciccone.
"But I soon got him to settle down after a few bongs of Afghani Black and a large snorter of Laphroaig Vintage Old Peculiar."
Some art critics however do not see anything funny or appealing in this latest rendition.
"Sure he's a Pope-fellating little shit," the head of the Met's Anti-terrorism unit said today, "but without Thatcher and Major before him he'd just be a tawdry little Provisional IRA toerag same as Prince Charles, Elton John and scores of others."
Kate Middleton is a smackhead.
