In a secret meeting in a bunker somewhere in southern-England, motoring organisations have hammered out the plans for a new nationwide fuel protest that threatens to bring Gordon Brown's embattled government and major oil companies to their knees.
The protest will involve the nationwide boycott of all branded fuel stations in a bid to pressurise them to lower their prices from the current £6 per gallon.
Speaking from strategic headquarters, Mr Iva Chelsea-Tractor-Fortescue explained the plan. "By getting all motorists to boycott the three largest oil companies until they agree to reduce petrol and diesel to 75p per litre, we will harness consumer power to force these companies to lower their prices."
"By purchasing their petrol at any supplier other than the top three, consumers will force them into forecourt losses on an unprecendented scale, unless they agree to our demands. We strongly recommend motorists use other non-branded suppliers."
When asked if he thought the motorist had the staying power to sustain their protest over the long term, Mr Chelsea-Tractor was confident of success, saying that "in previous protests, the people inconvenienced were the protestors. With this new strategy, everyone will still be buying fuel and driving their cars. The only people hurting will be the big three oil companies....this protest can not fail"
Gordon dour-Jockstrap-Labour-but-Tory Brown has been quoted as saying "we will not let this kind of blackmail influence our policy making. This right wing reactionary, er, Labour government will not let anything stand in the way of the big capitalist companies making mega-profits at the expense of the prols...er no, sorry I didn't mean that...can I change my mind..."
David pinko-Eton-champagne-socialist Cameron was supportive, "this is a new development in people power. I for one am fully in favour and will be out giving anyone supporting the protest a huge big New Tory caring hug"
The companies involved have not officially commented on the threatened action but sources close to the BP boardroom are said to have heard only a slight pause from the usual sounds of pigs snorting at the trough of huge profits.