Written by Steddyeddy

Wednesday, 7 May 2008

image for Illness and shock when customer actually gets through to a Microsoft customer services staff member
The new Vista-compatible keyboard

Microsoft customer, Curt N Rodde was told yesterday to 'pull himself together' when he fell ill and suffered mental anguish having managed to contact a human being at Microsoft when he had a problem with his Windows XP.

Expecting to have to press innumerable combinations on his touch telephone and listen to Richard Clayderman murder popular piano tunes, he reached a customer service executive at Microsoft within minutes of dialling. He explains:

"What really made me ill was, as an inclusive telephone call user, I had looked up www.saynoto0870.com on my neighbour's PC first, in order to obtain an alternative to the premium rate numbers Microsoft have to use for customer services. With only $50 billion in the bank, Bill Gates is plainly not wealthy enough to allow customers the choice when it comes to phoning up for advice about his over-expensive, monopolistic computer products.

"But to get through to a human being within 4 minutes is simply not on! I had the expectation of holding on the line for at least 30 minutes, or as Microsoft would say, £3.30.

"Admittedly, when I did speak to the customer services executive, he kept insisting I use my installation disk, to which I replied my machine came pre-loaded with Windows from Comet and they don't give out installation CD's."

Linus Torvalds is 39.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
67 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more