Seasons in the Sun

Written by Norton Folgate

Wednesday, 7 May 2008

image for Seasons in the Sun
A Brit, abroad - 9:15 am

The UK Tourism Board is to officially close down in July of this year, after many years of attempting to persuade the general public that the future of 'holidaying' was in the UK with little or no success.

Spokesperson for the Tourist board, Sir Ian Humphrey Lloyd said 'unfortunately, what with the world getting smaller, cheaper flights to exotic locations and easy access to the continent via the channel tunnel, we realised and accepted that we were up against it. Of course, we put up a battle, we had a fax and even a website but unfortunately we monitored that in the month of March this year, we only had sixteen hits to the site.'

Sir Lloyd continued 'people want to go to Florida, Thailand, Greece or Spain not the UK and its wet weather. How can we compete?' spoke with a typical nuclear family, the Baxter's from Leeds, West Yorkshire who had just booked their annual two weeks in Benidorm.

Geoff Baxter, 43 said 'I tell you, Benidorm knocks spots off the UK. We can enjoy hot weather, go to a traditional Benidorm bar - The Red Lion, watch all the Premiership games and not miss an episode of Eastenders. We can even have a traditional English breakfast as you won't find me eating any of that foreign muck.'

Sir Ian Lloyd commented on a typical family as the Baxter's with 'we're all going to hell in a handcart'.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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